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What I’ve Been Reading

Sharp Objects  by Gillian Flynn. I swear I didn’t jump on the Gone Girl  bandwagon once it was optioned as a Ben Affleck movie, but it did get me hooked on Gillian Flynn . . . sort of. Sharp Objects  was the author’s first book, and it seems like a little bit of an amateur effort. I appreciate Flynn’s wit, but I thought this was a little Chuck Palahniuk Lite. The protagonist, Camille Preaker, is a newspaper writer outside of Chicago when she hears of a serial killer in her Missouri hometown. She’s dispatched to Wind Gap, MO (which is not a real place) to follow the story. While there she deals with her hateful, cruel, rich mother (a woman of the type that probably does not exist), her promiscuous 13-year-old half-sister, and the gossip-fueled women of Wind Gap. In what’s seemingly supposed to be a believable murder mystery, the story is thrown off by the ridiculous mother, the ridiculous sister, and the ridiculous protagonist herself. I had a hard time getting entranced by the story involving self-mutilators, 13-year-olds getting gangbanged, and a 30-year-old professional reporter dropping acid with her 13-year-old sister.

Blink  by Malcolm Gladwell. I’ve been on a Malcom Gladwell kick for the last several months, and the only book of his I have yet to read is David and Goliath. Blink  talks about humans’ abilities to “thin slice,” which is taking small amounts of information and making quick decisions. Some of the chapters talk about Pepsi vs. Coke taste tests, police interactions with suspects (which I find relevant to the Michael Brown/Darren Wilson situation in Ferguson, MO), judging the authenticity of works of art, etc. One portion I found relevant was where Gladwell talks to a tennis coach who has an uncanny ability to judge whether a tennis player is about to double-fault. Even the coach himself couldn’t explain what body movements during a serve would help him judge the player’s serve accuracy, but he’s almost always correct. I found that somewhat applicable to my job as a coach and, to a lesser extent, my “job” here as a fan, blogger, and recruiting fanatic. Of course, I wouldn’t claim to be right the vast majority of the time, but sometimes there just appear to be body movements that are or are not conducive to being successful in sports.

The Magician’s Land  by Lev Grossman. I have previously touted the books The Magicians  and The Magician King  by Grossman on this here blog, and The Magician’s Land  is the third installment, which was released late this summer. I am such a fan that I pre-ordered the book. I have never done that for a book before. The trilogy started off with a kid named Quentin Coldwater, who was recruited to a Hogwart’s-like school. Quentin isn’t The Chosen One like Harry Potter, but he’s a pretty good magician who finds himself in some hairy situations, including traveling to a Narnia-like universe. I can’t really put my finger on what I like about this series so much, but each of the books has been a page-turner to me. This third part of the trilogy concentrates on Quentin trying to bring the love his life back from the dead, as well as the possible extinction of Fillory (a.k.a. Narnia). If you like fantasy stuff at all, I highly recommend this series.

Guardians of the Galaxy: The Complete Collection Volume 1  by Dan Abnett and Andy Lanning. Unlike with Gillian Flynn and Gone Girl, I totally was not interested in these comics until I saw the movie this summer. The movie was so fun and interesting to me that I wanted to get some of the background. While the comics aren’t quite as interesting to me – let’s just say Chris Pratt is more entertaining on screen than Star-Lord is on the page – I still found them enjoyable. Also, I can deal with Rocket Raccoon as a main character, but Cosmo the telepathic Russian space dog is too over the top for me. Maybe that’s why they didn’t include him in the movie. It’s just too much to handle at once. You mean there’s a dog that talks? And not only does it talk, but it has supernatural powers? And not only does it talk and have supernatural powers, but it inserts a “k” sound whenever there should be a “g” sound? Okay, that’s too much. I’m going to need some time to process this. Let’s just start off with the raccoon who seems to be a candidate for NRA president.

You can check out my past “What I’ve Been Reading” posts here (LINK).

Recruiting Update: December 26, 2014

Former Michigan commit Darrin Kirkland, Jr.

This is probably the last recruiting update for 2014, so grab some Klee-nex. On the plus side, there should be some good recruiting news in the coming days and weeks with a new coach soon to be hired and National Signing Day coming up at the beginning of February.

OFF THE BOARD
Waco (TX) Midway safety Kahlil Haughton committed to Oklahoma.

Mesquite (TX) Poteet linebacker Malik Jefferson committed to Texas. The 5-star prospect is the second 2015 linebacker to choose the Longhorns over the Wolverines, joining Cameron Townsend. Jefferson will be playing in the Under Armour All-American Game in early January.

Scottsdale (AZ) Saguaro wide receiver Christian Kirk committed to Texas A&M. Another 5-star, Kirk was high on my wish list, although he was a long shot even if Michigan had a good season and had coaching continuity. He’ll head to College Station to catch passes from Kyle Allen, who is from across town at Desert Mountain.

Indianapolis (IN) Lawrence Central linebacker Darrin Kirkland, Jr. committed to Tennessee. Kirkland was committed to Michigan for several months, but the Wolverines’ poor season and coaching situation led him to decommit late in the season.

Stephenville (TX) Stephenville quarterback Jarrett Stidham committed to Baylor after decommitting from Texas Tech. I always thought this seemed like a no-brainer because Baylor head coach Art Briles made his name as Stephenville’s head coach, but for whatever reason, Stidham was sold on the Red Raiders for a while. After all the points Baylor has thrown up on the board and the success of their quarterbacks, this looks like a good choice for Stidham.

MISCELLANEOUS
There are a bunch of all-star games coming up in about a week, so I posted all the Michigan targets/commits you can see in those games:

• U.S. Army All-American Bowl
• Under Armour All-American Game
• Semper Fidelis All-American Bowl

Self-Indulgent Post of the Week: Saturday Night Live, Season 40

As a fan of Saturday Night Live since I was a kid, I have become more and more aware of how great certain sketch comedians are . . . and how quickly others fade into oblivion. That discrepancy seems to have been made blatantly obvious over the past couple seasons, the last of which – season 39 – included a lot of cast turnover. New cast members pop up every year, but SNL seems to be in rebuilding mode recently. Fred Armisen, Bill Hader, and Jason Sudeikis all left before season 39, and then Seth Meyers left in the middle of the year. After the season finished, John Milhiser, Nasim Pedrad, Noel Wells, and Brooks Wheelan all left or got fired; the only one of those with any talent whoatsoever seemed to be Pedrad.

Now it’s season 40, and there are still some decent talents hanging around but nobody who seems like a future star. In the days of yore, it seemed SNL always featured a guy or girl with enough charisma to move on to his or her own talk show, comedy, movies, etc. There are some people I really like, but nobody who looks like a Will Ferrell, Adam Sandler, Eddie Murphy, Chris Farley, Kristen Wiig, etc.

So after watching the first half of the season, here are the current SNL actors from best to worst:

Bobby Moynihan: Moynihan doesn’t have the same kind of physical presence as Chris Farley or John Belushi, but he has taken that chubby guy role and done some great things with it. He’s good at improvising if things go sideways, and his facial contortions help him sell his characters. My favorites are Anthony Crispino – who’s pretty sure his secondhand news is accurate – and Drunk Uncle, with some Kirby the Astronaut mixed in.

Kate McKinnon: McKinnon has “crazy eyes” that make her a little off-putting and intriguing at the same time. Her impressions are unmatched on the current show, and she goes over the top just enough with her takes on Justin Bieber, Ellen DeGeneres, and Martha Stewart, among others. She’s probably the most consistent actor on the show in committing to the sketch and staying in character.

Pete Davidson: Davidson is my favorite new-ish actor on the show. He’s only 21 years old and so he shows his immaturity by occasional breaks in character, but he looks comfortable on stage and delivers his lines with an underlying energy like Jimmy Fallon or Adam Sandler. (Interesting note: Davidson’s father was a firefighter who was tragically killed during the September 11th attacks.)

Kenan Thompson: Early in his career I thought Thompson was pretty bad, because he seemed to break character left and right. Now he’s been around forever (he joined the cast in 2003 and has stuck around longer than Grandpa Tim Meadows), and he has grown on me. He still breaks character sometimes, but the creator of the knucklepuck has developed enough lovable roles to make him a comfortable sight on Saturday nights.

Taran Killam: Killam is pretty skilled impressionist, and he’s currently the “good looking” guy on the roster who can play the role of a Hollywood leading man or a goofball. He’s no match for Darrell Hammond at doing impressions, but he’s versatile enough to fit into almost any sketch.

Cecily Strong: Strong is someone I can see becoming a supporting actress in movies or TV shows. She’s good looking enough to make a passable Hollywood actress, she’s pretty versatile with her characters, and she’s relatable enough to make her a sympathetic character.

Colin Jost: Jost is the head writer and a standup comedian. After some early snafus, he has become pretty solid as an anchor on Weekend Update. Some of his deliveries are similar to those of Norm McDonald, and he has the face to make a convincing news anchor. He doesn’t seem to have the same improvisational chops as some of the former anchors (Jimmy Fallon, Tina Fey, Amy Poehler, Seth Meyers), so I can’t see him moving to his own talk show. But he seems like a good writer and is coming into his own as a performer.

Vanessa Bayer: Bayer is a good bit player who can make a cute girl or play an androgynous role like, say, a Jewish boy. You need good glue girls like her.

Michael Che: Che has some funny moments as the co-host for Weekend Update. Unfortunately, he stumbles over the setups and punchlines so often that he’s very inconsistent. For every joke that succeeds, at least one fails because the timing gets thrown off.

Aidy Bryant: Bryant is in her third year on the show, and while I liked her at first, her act has gotten a little stale for me. She plays essentially the same person in all of her skits, and her best one – co-host of Girlfriends Talk Show – has run its course. She has her funny moments, but she’s too one-dimensional.

Jay Pharaoh: Pharaoh – whose Barack Obama impersonation has improved over the years – has never impressed me. You have to have someone around who can impersonate the President, so I guess he’s necessary. But the guy just isn’t that funny. Almost every impression he does is sold only by the people doing his makeup and costumes.

Sasheer Zamata: I have a feeling I will forget about her in a few years. Kind of like how you forgot about Paul Brittain.

Beck Bennett: Bennett’s best professional moments came in AT&T commercials talking to little kids. Otherwise, his best role is Casey, a local skating talk-show host. Generally, he’s too stilted and awkward and monotone to be of much use.

Kyle Mooney: As Bennett’s co-star on the skating talk show, Mooney isn’t atrocious. He makes an acceptable stoner. That’s about all I can say for him. His impressions are disasters.

Leslie Jones: Leslie Jones is terrible and one-dimensional. I’m not quite sure why she was added to the cast, but I would be happy if she did not return for season 41.

Current FBS Coaches Coaching at Their Alma Maters

Kliff Kingsbury, the most photogenic coach in college football, coaches where he played college football.

In the midst of a coaching search that has a lot of “insiders” believing Jim Harbaugh will return to Michigan as its head football after playing in Ann Arbor in the 1980’s, I thought I would take a look at current college coaches who are at their alma mater. Harbaugh could be the first Michigan player to return as head coach since Bump Elliott, who played at Michigan in the 1946-1947 and then compiled a 51-42-2 record as the head coach from 1959-1968.

Troy Calhoun, Air Force (59-44 since 2007): Calhoun was a Falcon quarterback from 1983-1986. After a career as an assistant in both college (Air Force, Ohio, Wake Forest) and the NFL (Broncos, Texans), he returned to Air Force in 2007. The Falcons made an impressive turnaround from a 2-10 season in 2013 to completing a 10-3 year with a win over Western Michigan in the Famous Idaho Potato Bowl a few days ago.

Hit the jump for the ten other coaches on the list.

Scott Satterfield, Appalachian State (11-13 since 2013): Satterfield was a Mountaineer quarterback from 1991-1995. He has spent most of his coaching career as an assistant for ASU, with brief trips to Toledo and FIU. Hired as the new head coach in 2013, he went 4-8 in his first year but improved to 7-5 this year, which included a loss to Michigan in the Big House. The Mountaineers are ineligible for a bowl game after moving up from FCS.

Bryan Harsin, Boise State (11-2 since 2014): Harsin was a Broncos quarterback from 1995-1999. He returned to Boise State in 2001 as a graduate assistant and worked his way up the ranks, eventually going to Texas as co-offensive coordinator and then to Arkansas State as head coach in 2013, where he went 7-5. When Chris Peterson got the job at Washington, Harsin was brought back home to Boise, where the Broncos will play Arizona in the Fiesta Bowl on December 31.

Paul Haynes, Kent State (6-17 since 2013): Haynes was a safety at Kent State from 1987-1991 and has since spent over 20 years in the coaching ranks, including as an assistant for Kent State, the Jacksonville Jaguars, Louisville, Michigan State, and Ohio State. His first head coaching gig is not going particularly well, as the Golden Flashes went 2-9 this past season.

Pat Fitzgerald, Northwestern (60-53 since 2006): Fitzgerald was a stellar linebacker for Northwestern in the mid-1990’s, earning Big Ten Defensive Player of the Year twice, being a consensus All-American twice, and winning the Nagurski and Bednarik Awards twice each. He began coaching linebackers at Maryland, moved on to Colorado, and then Idaho, before returning to Northwestern under head coach Randy Walker. When Walker tragically passed away, Fitzgerald was promoted to head coach. He has one 10-win season under his belt but has gone 5-7 for the past two seasons.

Mike Gundy, Oklahoma State (83-44 since 2005): Gundy was an Oklahoma State quarterback from 1986-1989. After former Oklahoma State coach Les Miles moved on to LSU, Gundy was promoted from offensive coordinator to head coach; he had previous stops at Baylor and Maryland as an assistant. Since then Gundy has shown a pretty steady ability to put points up on the board and has three double-digit winning seasons. He has also been mentioned in Michigan’s coaching search, although it seems unlikely that he would leave his alma mater, despite a disappointing 6-6 season in 2014 (his worst record since going 4-7 in his firat year).

David Shaw, Stanford (41-12 since 2011): Shaw played high school football at Rochester (MI) Adams when his dad was an assistant coach for the Detroit Lions. He then went on to play wide receiver at Stanford from 1991-1994, as well as joining the basketball and track teams. After some small-time jobs and quality control stints, he worked in the NFL for the Oakland Raiders and Baltimore Ravens before joining Jim Harbaugh’s staff at Stanford, where he was the offensive coordinator from 2007-2010. When Harbaugh bolted for the San Francisco 49ers in 2011, Shaw was promoted. He won 11, 12, and 11 games in his first three years before falling off to 7-5 this past season; the Cardinal will play Maryland in the Foster Farms Bowl on December 30.

Kliff Kingsbury, Texas Tech (12-13 since 2013): Kingsbury was a record-setting quarterback at Texas Tech under Mike Leach. After a meandering NFL career, he started coaching at Houston, moved on to Texas A&M to help Kevin Sumlin and Heisman-winner Johnny Manziel in 2012, and then took the Red Raiders job in 2013. A promsing 8-5 season in 2013 fell to a disappointing 4-8 record this past year, including an embarrassing 82-27 loss to TCU.

Matt Wells, Utah State (19-9 since 2013): Wells was a quarterback at Utah State from 1993-1996 and then coached at Navy, Tulsa, New Mexico, and Louisville before returning to Utah State as an assistant in 2011 under Gary Anderson. When Anderson left for Wisconsin after the 2012 season, Wells was promoted and has since gone 9-5 and 10-4. The 2014 season culminated with a win over UTEP in the New Mexico Bowl a couple days ago.

Frank Beamer, Virginia Tech (229-115-2 since 1987): Beamer was a cornerback for the Hokies in the late 1960’s. After some coaching stops at The Citadel and Murray State, he got the job in Blacksburg in 1987 and is now the longest tenured coach in the FBS. He had eight  consecutive years of double-digit wins from 2004-2011, but has since gone 21-17, including a 6-6 record in 2014. The Hokies will play Cincinnati in the Military Bowl on December 27.

Paul Chryst, Wisconsin (0-0 since 2015): Chryst was a quarterback for the Badgers in the late 1980’s. He has lived the nomadic life of a coach for most of his professional career with stops at Oregon State, the San Diego Chargers, and Wisconsin, among others. He was the offensive coordinator for the Badgers from 2005-2011 but booked it for Pitt’s head coaching job in 2012. He went 19-19 in three seasons there, but when Gary Anderson left Wisconsin for Utah State, the Badgers came calling again. He was just announced as Wisconsin’s new coach and has yet to coach a game there, although it seems likely that he will be able to continue their success since he was a big part of it for seven seasons.

CONCLUSIONS
Not many. Most of these guys have been pretty successful at their alma maters, although unsuccessful coaches usually find themselves without jobs pretty quickly. It would be great if a potential Jim Harbaugh hire could result in a Frank Beamer-like run that lasts about 30 years, but Harbaugh is too old for that and could feasibly bolt back to the NFL after a few years. Interestingly, none of the above guys ever turned into even mediocre NFL players. Almost all of them returned to college to coach within a couple years of graduating, and Harbaugh’s solid NFL career would immediately be the most impressive on this list. That’s not really meaningful, but it’s a little interesting.

Also interesting is that 7 of the 11 players on the list were quarterbacks; the others were a cornerback, a wide receiver, a safety, and a linebacker. A lot of coaches played quarterback in their athletic days, probably because they’re used to leading and they’re generally pretty intelligent guys. Quarterbacks also have to pay attention to everyone on the field because they have to understand backfield play, blitzes, coverages, protections, route combinations, etc.

Regardless of his potential level of success, it would be an extremely interesting homecoming for Harbaugh if he were to take the job. It’s not often that elite football players return to their alma maters as head coach, and this could be the best homecoming story since Heisman winner Steve Spurrier developed a powerhouse as the Florida Gators’ head coach.

Video: Jim Harbaugh loves Michigan