Michigan 59, UConn 0

Michigan 59, UConn 0

September 19, 2022
Blake Corum (image via USA Today)

Well, that was a butt whoopin’. Everyone expected a Michigan blowout, but UConn couldn’t do anything. Other than an 18-yard scramble by quarterback Zion Turner, UConn’s longest plays were 9 yards, 8 yards, 7 yards. When’s the last time you saw a team only have one double-digit offensive play? That’s an odd thing to remember off the top of my head even if it’s happened in the last 20 or 30 years, but I don’t remember another time when that was the case. Altogether, UConn’s quarterbacks combined to go 5/20 for 24 yards. That’s 1.2 yards per attempt.

Hit the jump for more.

Blake Corum tied a record. Corum scored 5 rushing touchdowns on Saturday. More impressively, he did it on just 12 rushing attempts. They came on gains of 20, 11, 1, 1, and 1. It took Hassan Haskins 28 attempts against Ohio State to achieve the same feat. Ron Johnson needed 31 attempts in 1968 to score his five. Competition caveats apply for Corum, but it’s crazy to think he was almost as likely to score a touchdown as not.

I’m bored. Yep, I said it. I’m bored. I want to watch star players do star things against good competition. Starting off the season with three cupcakes is something that, yep, now I’ve experienced it and I don’t ever want to try it again. You know, like cocaine. Or dating a Michigan State fan. Unless Michigan hires Rich Rodriguez as a coach, everyone good transfers, and life sucks. I don’t even mind so much that Michigan put these three teams on the schedule (Colorado State, Hawaii, UConn) because CSU and Hawaii are at least a little bit formidable sometimes. Michigan’s three opponents so far are 0-9 against FBS opponents (but 2-0 vs. FCS teams!). At least when there’s a non-conference opponent like Washington or Florida or Alabama or Notre Dame, there’s some level of excitement for one team in the first few weeks, even if we realize that Alabama is going to stomp the Wolverines.

I bet you didn’t know . . . Henry Donohue, Danny Hughes, and Brandon Mann. Or Daniel Taraboi. Or Logan Forbes. Maybe not even Andy Maddox. All those guys played on Saturday. Even some of the most devoted Michigan fans don’t know those people. Hell, some of those guys didn’t even make the 2022 Season Countdown, and I profile way more guys than necessary. Good for these guys to get their time to shine in Michigan Stadium.

Ronnie Bell haters, beware. Don’t look now, folks, but the guy who led Michigan in receiving in 2019 and 2020 is back at it again. A lot of people thought Cornelius Johnson or Roman Wilson was going to take over as the #1 guy, but every time we look up, Ronnie Bell is hauling in a pass. He has 14 receptions, more than double anyone else on the team. He also seems to be a favorite of J.J. McCarthy, who has given him 6 and 7 receptions over the past two games. The year isn’t over and a lot can happen, but Ronnie Bell seems to be the favorite target for three different quarterbacks: Shea Patterson, Cade McNamara, and J.J. McCarthy. At some point we all probably have to admit that Bell is pretty good.

J.J. McCarthy was good. McCarthy was 15/18 for 214 yards and ran 3 times for 7 yards. He missed a couple plays – all quarterbacks do – but there wasn’t a ton to complain about. I do feel bad for Cade McNamara, who promptly got clobbered twice in just a few snaps and left the game with a knee injury. Luckily, the crowd gave him a round of applause before he went down for the count.

I’m looking forward to Maryland. Maryland is 3-0 and averaging 40.3 points per game. Quarterback Taulia Tagovailoa is completing almost 80% of his passes for 10.2 yards per attempt. Running back Roman Hemby is averaging over 9 yards per carry. And yes, it’s been against a couple cupcakes (Buffalo, Charlotte), but also against a decent team in SMU last week. How is Michigan going to look when they face a team with a pulse? We’ll find out on Saturday at noon.

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