|Why am I including a picture of myself? Shut up, that’s why.|
1. Lawrence Thomas, LB – Renaissance High School (Detroit)
Interpretation: Some of the coaches at Renaissance think former Renaissance players were treated poorly at Michigan, even though TE Carson Butler was constantly in trouble and FB/DE Andre Criswell couldn’t cut it on the field. I can’t stand it when troublemakers and subpar athletes aren’t treated like royalty!
Interpretation: Michigan’s coaches didn’t recruit me, and the fans were jerks because they had no clue who I was.
Notice that when asked “Why not Michigan State?”, the Michigan commits – Brennen Beyer, Justice Hayes, and Delonte Hollowell – essentially said “I just didn’t see myself at Michigan State.”
Perhaps the cruelest part of the entire article is when they ask recruits who were never really contacted by the Wolverines, “Hey, why didn’t you choose the most successful program in the state?” As if they even had a choice.
It would be like asking Halle Berry, “Why aren’t you dating Thunder from Touch the Banner?” What would they expect her to say? The truth? She wouldn’t want to be dragged down into that pit of misery, not again. To save face she would have to say that she wasn’t interested.
But in reality, I think Halle Berry is a little old for me. She’s probably got stretch marks from having a baby. And frankly, I saw Monster’s Ball – I don’t want to touch anything that’s come in contact with Billy Bob Thornton. Sister, please.
Emanuela de Paula and I are doing just fine, thank you very much.
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